Hardest Part of Being Fearless

The most intelligent bear in the world once made the most profound statement.  He said, "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."  The last week has proven this statement over and over again.  I have been so blessed in Athens and made relationships that make saying goodbye heartbreaking. 
The first goodbye was to my job of six years.  You know the last episode of Cheers, when he stops at the door of his now empty bar, takes one last look before he turns out the light and walks out one last time?  I had that moment.  My walls were bare, my fish in hand and my computer logged off one last time.  I made my one final look and suddenly, all the bad things disappeared and I could only remember the fun.  Crazy how that happens.  I remembered my interview with the new GM Manager and his coordinator, all the friends I had made through the years, those who have moved on, and those who were still there.  I remembered all the steps I had climbed to get to the position I was in, and all the lessons I had learned from the best manager in retail.  I have never been so ready to move on and yet not want to go.  After a 13 hour shift, I was checked out, but I knew the second I hit clock out, I was done.  I learned a lot on this job, lots about people, lots about the job, I have been truly blessed and have enjoyed my job more days than not.  I will definatly miss those gamedays and their awesome neon shirt!
Next up, my apartment.  Yes, it is old.  Yes, it has issues.  Yes, the neighbors are loud and obnoxious.  And yes, I am sure going to miss it.  It was my first grown up apartment.  THe palce my girls could spend the night and have a good time.  Where they could scream on the tennis court and have a fun story to tell.  A place that still has traces of pumpking guts in the bathroom.  Where my friends could come over for the game, or a good movie.  I won't miss the creepy crack in my wall that left me searching for an escaping light that will cause me to never be born (Doctor Who fans can understand my fear), but I will miss the stories.  It was my clown apartment, I was forever surprised how many teenage girls could fit!  It may not have been much, but it was mine.
And finally, perhaps the hardest goodbye of them all.  My girls.  Over the course of the last few years, these girls have become my passion, my heart, and my soul.  Everything I do, I think of the impact on these girls, everything I see makes me think of one of them.  I have watched them grow and mature and love them more than anything.  I hope I have been able to teach them something over the last several years.  My biggest desire is that they would continue to grow into godly women who care about others and furthering the kingdom. That they would make wise decisions and understand their actions have consequences.  I hope they would know that I love them and that I will always be praying for them. 
Though the hardest thing in the world was saying goodbye I know I am supposed to be here.  It's hard to be fearless in the face of so much change, but here we go.  "I know who goes before me.  I know who stands behind.  The Lord of Angel Armies is always by my side."  Here we go...'13 continues to be a fearless one!